The IBMC's Residence Program includes an unfurnished room with a shared kitchen and bathroom. Residents receive a discount on IBMC retreats and seminars as well as access to the monks/teachers and to the zendo for meditation practice.

Living in Community: The IBMC Residential Program

by Ven. Sarika Dharma

Why would someone choose to live in a single room, sharing bathroom and kitchen with four, five or more housemates? Giving up privacy and freedom, having to share space, and forced by the situation to wait until someone else is through with the shower.

Money, of course, could be a consideration. But not during these times, especially in this area, where many apartments are unrented. Still, most of the IBMC's rooms are occupied.

Perhaps it is our human need for community that makes it worthwhile, that balances out the inconveniences. Especially the need for spiritual community. There is no easy path to spiritual development, but sharing time and space with like-minded individuals makes the walk less rocky.

IBMC is unique among spiritual communities because all residents do not follow the same spiritual path. Rather, our residents reflect the diversity of the city, the diversity of our world. Although most are American-born, they represent many different heritages, subcultures and ethnic groups.

Some spiritual seekers go away to an isolated place, a forest, the desert, a tiny hut, to attain awakening. On the other hand, community provides many opportunities for us to express our spiritual nature. To check how far we've developed. To see what we need to work on.

What an opportunity to practice the steps along the path. Right Speech, the practice of not saying anything harmful to oneself or others, is very difficult. Often words are out of our mouths before we can stop them. Heedless of another's difficulties, we may judge them harshly, be intolerant, fear that they will infringe on us. This is happening all around us. But the difference is that here, at IBMC, we have all acknowledged the importance of our own spiritual development and are working to develop our skills at compassion and loving-kindness.

This practice is not easy. We all have strong egos that can get in our way. Our egotistical egos, on their slow journey toward expansion, manifest many defense mechanisms against anything perceived as a threat. We have all been treated badly at some time and didn't like the feeling. So we try to protect ourselves against any more hurt. Even though we are anticipating something that may never happen, it has already happened in our minds.

The problem is that when we close off to others, we end up closing off to our selves. Then, we are caught up in self-absorption instead of self-discovery. Self-discovery involves understanding the connections among all human beings.

We can only work on ourselves; we can't "fix" others. We may think we can, try to, get frustrated when someone won't listen and then feel inadequate or wronged. However, by working on ourselves, we will discover what actions will really help others. Our own equanimity encourages others to seek it for themselves. When we show respect to someone, we usually get respect in return. However, whether we get the results we hope for or not, we certainly feel better for following the path of Right Action.

Americans place a lot of value on standing up for our rights. We want what we've got coming. Opportunities, consideration, respect. However, we don't always see that what we get is a result of how we go about getting it. This is where our practice gets its true test.

If someone infringes on our territory, we have a choice. Throw rocks or have a discussion. Knowing we have a difference doesn't change the fact that we both have rights in the matter. Negotiating, finding common ground is a much better way to settle a difference. We feel better, we understand more about the other person. Our hearts may open a bit, our defenses drop a bit. "Wow, I thought he didn't like me. But now he seems like a nice guy." Then we can relax, take a deep breath and smile, happy with the karma we have created, instead of tense, unhappy and feeling put-upon.

Perhaps we can't do this all the time. It may not even be a good idea to try all the time in the larger community. People are at different stages of development, and situations may not always be safe. But we can do it in our own homes. And we can do it in a community of spiritual practitioners.

The result will be harmony instead of discord, inner peace rather than anxiety, and a clear road to finding our true selves.